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Lust, Loathing, & Love

by Zelophilia

supported by
Ed Allen
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Ed Allen This album is fucking great. Over the top in all the good ways. I revisit it often and am always freshly entertained.
Greg Murphy
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Greg Murphy If you like anything that is creative, melodic, abstract and brutal at the same time, download this album now or you're missing out.
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1.
Needless Introduction (free) 01:12
2.
Plague. Slime and beauty. Pus. The cum of the sewers. Forgotten angels of wretched waters. Molested by disease. Our hive and hearts are under siege and attack. The Locust are back to take over our lives. But we must thrive, for they seek... 5 opportunities that are all far too unique. 5 opportunities; all unique. No! Here they come! Firefight lights up the bright, blackened skies. Cower for our fragile lives. How will we ever survive? We lost everything to them (goodbye). Devoured (shamed). Deflowered. (Goodbye. So long. Farewell. Goodbye) So long. Farewell. Goodbye.
3.
He buries his face in her bony, plastic hips. His tongue encased in bloody leather lips. He never ever really fully truly understood Why something bad always feels so goddamn good. His putrid body shakes, twists, and curls At the thought of those joyless, pretty girls. Flesh to ash, he spends all his cash. Life fades away so fast. Love 'em & leave 'em & Hump 'em & dump 'em & Use 'em & lose 'em &... Regret. I yearn to feel young. Bloody leather lips. ---chorus--- Getting aroused from the strangest things, I yearn for the joy only an orgasm can bring. But I can never ever fully understand How does a boy ever become a man? Simple. It's simple. It's all in the dimples. They move from cheek to chin as your hair slowly thins. As all the life gets drained from your eyes, You try to get it back by getting stuck between her thighs. Love 'em & leave 'em & Hump 'em & dump 'em & Use 'em & lose 'em &... Regret. I yearn to feel young. Bloody... Nothing & everything... Regret. The god of all shame. Bloody leather lips. ---chorus--- My fevered loins are oozing with guilt. Self-loathing is an ever suffocating womb. Why...why are you still alive? You squandered all the gifts we gave you on tainted flesh. Like affectionate cancer, she loves you to death. She hopes you disintegrate into dust. (We hope she was worth it) How could anyone ever love such a sniveling little child? A squirming body of snot and bile. So conceited; self-absorbed. Crying when you are ignored. All the things you reminisce Haunt you like the smell of piss We never thought you would turn out like this Hi. Goodbye. Say farewell to Bitter, bloody leather.
4.
Sweat and dust combined with sores. Acne ridden bodies pound to each other as they hit the concrete floor. Moaning, groaning, scowling boys & girls together no more. ---chorus--- The anxious heat pulsating from the garage gently massages and washes my troubles away. So I take a look inside. Tears fall on deafened ears. (Sounds of tortured souls bring me ecstasy.) See how they grovel and plea. (So their virgin ears will not be...) Deflowered by guilty cowards. (Quiver and they quake.) Drowning in a burning lake. So say goodnight to all your wonderful dreams. ---chorus--- Why do I try?
5.
We're here to tear you down by first instilling doubt. Turn your blessing into burdens. Offer only one way out. We'll drag you down to mercy. Steal what you've earned. We'll do just about anything to watch you burn. Induce dysfunction through deconstruction. You'll die alone when we take away your throne. Disguised as lovers, fathers, and mothers. Dead end. We're your only friends. ---chorus--- We're here to criticize everything you do. Re-evaluate everything you thought was true. Lovingly infect you with guilt. Grease you up with greed. We'll do just about anything to watch you bleed. ---chorus---
6.
Feed 01:35
An all consuming case of gout. How about you eat your bleeding heart out? Feed on your tragedy. ---chorus--- Little angel, my body aches for you. Burning with the lust of three desperate men. Gluttony... Fills your stomach and your lungs and erodes your silver tongue. Snarling... Beasts of stone. Children of fire surround the thieves and liars; all with filth. The tender pain of scared baby things melt into you and course through your veins. Caged and fed soiled meat. Eating up the waste and self-serving deceit. What have I become? ---chorus---
7.
Gentle Sleep 00:55
Let all be forgiven. Let there be genuine and honest Resolution. Conflict is what drives us yet Resolution is what we all seek. Let everyone feel rested and truly content. Please, I beg you.
8.
Plastic peace insulates me from the world. Save me from Mother Nature. (I fell far from the tree) Product of man. Average adolescents getting sad on anti-depressants. Take another pill for the side effects. I need air conditioning. My one and only condition. Convenience is no different from survival. I run in place. No sun on my face. I rest my head on my two thousand dollar bed. Sleep until I'm dead. Sweet memories of plush memory foam. I drink fiber from a glass in my fiberglass home. I'm sinking down in my 5.1 surround sound. I drown. I drown in sound. The wind stings my face so I bought a desk fan. I'm not part of nature. I'm a product of man. The perfect ashtray is made out of beach sand. I'm not part of nature. I'm a product of man. No cancer from a fake tan. I'm not part of nature. I'm a product of man.
9.
She screams for mother as my fingers swim inside her. I say, "Hush, pretty thing. Don't you trust your brother?" Her lips tremble and quake but her other lips shake my gentle hand hello for Christ's sake. She tastes so sweet. The softest meat my tongue ever caressed on these wretched sheets. Then an ocean, a flood, of fertile Easter blood fills my mouth and taints my taste buds. Man, what a dud. So I say, "forgiving one's self is the hardest thing, you see. So, it should be pretty easy for you to forgive me. But don't you whine. Forgiveness is divine. You'll get over it. It's just a matter of time. There's no reason we can't live together happily. Because after all, we're family."
10.
Affection is misdirection to infections at best. One night an erection, then a baby at breast. The whore cried, "no more" in a desperate yelp. Children beneath the floor still muster a help. Disgruntled grunts and Gregorian groans. Cocks into cunts are concocting clones. Feathers and leather. Flesh in hand. No one glares better than a desperate man. When a boy lies, it's to avoid repercussion. When a girl lies, it is to get sweet revenge on those she loved. Hello, sweet angel. You came. --chorus-- Oppression, depression smeared on her face. Choking on affection. Disgraced and misplaced. Teenagers drool in a hormonal heat. Moaning like mules. Miserable back seats. Broken condoms bind into a null marriage. All was fine until the miscarriage. Affection is misdirection to infections, at best. This lame erection has been laid to rest. --chorus-- Suffer no more. Put your pain to sleep. Won't you rest in my arms?
11.
Barren wasteland of crumbs for the scared hungry wolves. Scavenge for left over remains. Stomachs growling in pain. So weakly howling. Once proud, fearless creatures. No more. I would kill for some food. (Why don't you?) But I'm too subdued. (Aw, well, that's too bad) Don't you have anything to spare? (Sorry. Can't help) Well, that ain't fair. Leave us. Survival of the fittest isn't fair. (Fuck) They're taking over. Those standing beasts. They've come with their guns. War for food. These strange two-legged creatures come bearing metal sticks that breath fire and shout thunder. We're too weak to carry on. (Aw, shit) Run for your lives. The hills are running with blood. They're burning down our only homes. Our cousins turned against their own. (The machine's taken everything...) Is this our demise? Is this how we will be remembered? Dead dogs who learned nothing but hopelessness? Reduced to gnawing on the bones of our children. Have we no shame? Is this the end?
12.
My inner child is made of skin and bone. Bearing a milky glare. (Love sick). He clutches the air but no one's there. Splinters in lonely tongues. The horrible stench of urine and pain sucks the life out of him like the old ball and chain. Dead at birth. He sinks into the womb of the earth. Hands of children molest his tender loins. Rape. Sweet gentle rape. I'm so alone. Can you take me home? I want to be loved. Please take me. ---chorus--- Love tears me apart. Love eats at my Soul is on fire. I melt into ember. I sink in a sea of flame. --chorus--- I want to be loved. I want to be loved. I want to be loved. Please take me.
13.
14.
Lust, Loathing, & Love (free) 03:29
Why can't I escape my past of self-loathing? Drowning in sweat. Choking on someone else's Lust for demons tears me up inside. But I love the way it grips me. Climax from jealousy. Her flesh knows another man (twice my age). She grips him so desperately. Twist and they curl as their bodies melt into one. (Fucking like pigs). Moaning in perfect unison. They tongue at her beads of sweat. She claws their backs like a feral cat. I came at the thought of their love affair. She's fucking them and not fucking me. My hateful orgasms of jealousy. (Reversed sample from the 2003 movie "The Singing Detective" with Mel Gibson speaking) Weak and perpetually scared. In pain and unprepared to know what it's like to be loved as is. Controlled by endorphins and fate. This epiphany came too late. What a shame. Oh, well. I guess you'll see me in Hell. Lust, loathing, and love.
15.
16.
Bye Bye 02:44

credits

released December 10, 2011

Music, production, and lyrics by Lou Kelly.

I got a helping hand from Tyler Ball for the drum arrangement for 'Demons & Diminished Chords'.

Album cover is a bastardized/cartoonified version of Claude Cahun's self portrait (c. 1920). I didn't ask for permission to use it because, well, she died in 1954.

Various sound FX downloaded from Soundbible and Adobe Audition "SoundFX" package.

For 'Lust, Loathing, & Love', the monologue is from the 2003 film, "The Singing Detective" with Mel Gibson speaking...except in reverse in an effort to avoid legal trouble. The various moaning and skin slapping sounds came from a couple pornographic movies (I don't remember what they were and even if I did, I'd rather not say).

For the bonus track 'Bye Bye', the man you hear talking is Dennis Miller (interviewed by Melvyn Bragg in 1994). It's referred to as "the last interview" and I snagged this particular excerpt from this YouTube video:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFaQ-I9pYY

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Zelophilia California

Zelophilia is an affiliate of Noydian Records.
The so called "band" is from Ukiah, CA in the United States.

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